Celebrity Crush and validation

I vividly recall a moment in 2016, soon after discovering Krauer’s blog, in which I created a milestone for myself: date a celebrity. Perhaps the seed was planted when I read The Game, which briefly shares an episode in which a player gets a number from Paris Hilton at a taco shop in the late evening. When I read it back in 2010, I presumed the number guaranteed a premium stay at the Hilton¹.  It wasn’t until I got some numbers in 2016 that I realized the limited value of a them digits.

Nonetheless, the dream prevailed. At the same moment that I set this celebrity milestone, I also clearly defined my target². I won’t name names, but I’ll give you a hint. The target comes from a twin collection, who began her career on a family sitcom in the 90’s set in California over a hilly city engulfed in fog. And “how is this forced serendipity to materialize”, you may ask? Why, daygame, of course! I would joyfully scour the streets for beautiful women before encountering my beloved intended, then whisk her away with A+ game. I would then soak in attention from the paparazzi as they followed us around town while we fell in blissful love. That was to be the end game. Learn the skill set, capture the heart of a famous, pretty and successful girl, and be done with it. In retrospect, I wanted the the validation of a high-quality girl, of my past and present peers, and of the world as a whole. I wanted to be that guy who captivated a celebrity without being one himself, then showing it off to anyone who would listen. This is the second most extreme case of external validation³.

My how things have changed since I got deeper in this space. Since that day I set my sight on the twin⁴ I’ve discovered TRP⁵; read about the adventures of numerous players such as Krauser, Tom Torero and Nash; and realized that I don’t care for validation from most people, especially the unqualified. In fact, these days I only get validation from subject matter experts specific to their field. If Mr. V tells me my texting is on fleek, there would be somersaults in my belly. If he complimented me on throwing a quick and powerful rear hook, I’d nod and appreciate the gesture, but I wouldn’t get the same serotonin release⁶.

Concerning game, my primary source of validation is the girl I’m after. There are levels to this. Blowouts sting, but not so much anymore. All a blowout means is that I don’t have the look this particular girl prefers. Easy fix: continue lifting and cycle through apparel; or not–there’s no single fashion choice that will appeal to all women. At the next level is the actual daygame. Consider the Maybe girl who could use some convincing but accepted your overall appearance and approach. Midway through, you can feel the energy dying so you attempt a couple of spikes but nothing hits. The big eyes and smile have faded into a disappointed grimace so you eject and move on. This hurts more than a blowout; she rejected your pitch, the delivery of your value. But it’s also encouraging. You made it to the next level before getting disqualified and you have some sense of how to improve.

Let’s skip a few levels and jump over to the situation where you’ve now slept with a girl, texted a bit afterwords, but can’t get her back out. She eventually falls off. Assume this is a good girl, one you want as a regular. Rejection at this point leaves a bruise in size commensurate to the stage of seduction. She knows quite a bit about you at this point. She’s experienced your frame, she knows how you talk and how you carry yourself. She knows what’s in store if she were to see you again and ultimately decided it’s not worth her effort to do so. Instead she decides to do laundry or meet up with another guy.

It’s no longer your presentation she rejected; it’s just you, and your value. We can think of it like climbing a ladder. The closer you get to the top before you fall, the harder the crash to the bottom. This validation ladder is serious business. The higher you ascend, the more you need to reflect on what to improve.

So what’s on the other side, once you pass your feet over that last rung? I argue it’s Deep Conversion. I’ve been in two LTR’s and in both cases the girl said “I love you” first. I lost the frame in the first relationship, but in the second I held on to it pretty well in comparison to the “blue pillers”. It was before I started to daygame, but after I read The Rational Male and a couple of daygame memoirs. She was a good girl and grew up in Korea where they make no secret about the inherent differences between men and women. It made holding frame that much easier. It was expected from both of us.

But I don’t think I ever presented myself strong enough to deeply convert either of them into my frame, into having them put all their trust and energy into me.

I would further argue that this isn’t external validation. “The girl is your mirror”, as Tom Torero used to say. I see the ability to convert a girl as a reflection of our internal frame. I have yet to encounter what this looks like; there aren’t too many examples in my life where I see men with strong frame. The best I can do is mimic what I read and discover it for myself. I have to “feel” it out. When I pay attention to my feelings in interactions, I can somewhat pick up where I’m at in conversation. It’s how I’m learning to better calibrate my responses to shit tests. Sometimes “agree and amplify” is the way to go, at others, it’s best to just ignore. My response is no longer cookie cutter, it’s adaptive to the delivery of the shit test and the history of our interaction. This sort of thinking makes us multi-dimensional rather one-hit wonders. If we adopt the latter, we’re limiting our personal development and more likely to encounter girls bouncing after the lay.

This isn’t an attractive outcome to daygamers. Not because they need repeat sex from every girl, but rather because the unifying quality of all daygamers is their unrelenting desire for self-improvement. And it takes experience and experimentation to get there.

Fucking a celebrity and going public is not conducing to self-development. The fallout isn’t worth it. Getting caught in a photo with my tongue down the throat of a cutie from the telly removes the anonymity required to pursue daygame. There’s something magical about meeting people the old school way–with charisma and balls–that I wouldn’t want to give up.

And I’m just getting started.

1. Equivalently, a night in Paris ;-)
2. Ambitious, I certainly am.
3. The first would be to make a sex tape with a C-list celebrity then let the reality TV offers roll in. Genius plan, I do admit!
4. I would have taken either, by the way. No discrimination here.
5. Go to RedPillDad for a primer on the red pill.
6. Read the book Magnum recommends to learn more about the physiology of our feelings