It’s been too long since my last post! There is, however, a very reasonable reason: I don’t have much to talk about. 2021 has only seen me approach 21 girls. Though girls are back to shopping and strolling the streets of NYC, many are still masked up and they are not often walking solo. In addition, I’ve also reduced my approach volume.
Krauser and Thomas Crown have both written about pre-approach calibration. To be frank, I don’t quite know what that looks like, but I have been trying to implement it. Essentially, I apply an extra filtering layer on girls before I approach them. Not only do they have to be physically attractive, they have to have something else that draws me to them. Maybe it’s their smile, their gait, their clothing, their eyes–something that says “I’m approachable and pleasant and you and I would get along.” I can’t, unfortunately, provide a less abstract notion of what it is I’m looking for in this filter.
And to be fair, the application of this filter does feel like AA getting to me. When I see a physically attractive girl, but she fails the second filter, I have to deeply introspect and ask myself “am I weaseling? Or am I calibrating?” I don’t think I’ll have an honest answer here until I resolve the abstraction above. But that’s a battle for another day.
Let’s talk about my weekend in Vegas.
A childhood friend is scheduled to wed in a couple of weeks, and following tradition, decided to hold his bachelor party in Vegas. Of the 12 people there, I knew the bachelor and his younger brother; the remaining 9 were unknown to me. My friend has a chill side and a non-negligible party side, which was reflected in the mixed group joining the fun. Half were chill, half couldn’t hold a conversation unless it involved drugs or alcohol. Or gambling–almost forgot that one as Vegas is not my choice of destination for fun.
The trip was off to a good start. We had dinner and drinks, and just hung out. I got along with half the guys but mostly held my tongue whenever we talked about culture or girls. I can’t talk to a non Red Pill guy about those things without saying something controversial, so instead I talk about travel, work, food, nutrition, etc. These are normal, blue-pilled folk after all. I threw out a couple of light comments about this COVID bullshit and unhinged money printing but didn’t get much positive responses so kept my topics of discussion limited to those that are socially acceptable. When it comes to crypto or MMA, most guys front, so not much convo there either. Also odd, but it seems safer to talk about cocaine then feminism in our day and age. For the record, I’ve never snorted a line.
Anyway, things went downhill as the trip went on and the party side of things came about. We paid for table service at a club one night. There was some fixed cost for the reservation, maybe $100 per person, then a minimum spend of $200-$400 per person (I haven’t got the bill yet). About half the guys were sitting back and sipping drinks while the other half were taking shots and making some noise. Two or three of the guys would go out of our area and try to pick up girls. Good for them, I thought. I don’t like yelling above the music nor do I have dance moves. Plus AA. So no approaches for me. At one point, a guy brought back 5 or so girls to our area, of which one was a 7 and the rest were too close to untouchable1, and immediately the party guys crowded them with attention while offering drinks. I sat back, not knowing how to introduce myself without lowering my value by associating with guys giving away free drinks. After 10-15 minutes, the girls left and never came back. Judging from their body language, one girl liked the guy who approached. She was laughing, he was escalating, they were talking in private and dancing, but he didn’t get her number when she left. Essentially, one of those fun sets that don’t go anywhere.
As I went to bed that night, I kept thinking “how should I have talked to the girls there?”. And I did indeed come up with something.
The next day we go to a pool club with a similar dynamics as the night club, but the music wasn’t as loud. We pay to reserve an area, then buy bottles of liquor marked up by 1000%2, and the waitresses are all augmented with inflated breasts and tattoos. Five minutes after one guy brought in a group of girls, I go for it.
Me: Welcome to the table! You guys have the password to be here, right?
Them: Password? What password? Please let us stay!
Me: No password?! (Turns to another guy in the group) Uh oh, I guess we gotta kick them out, huh?
Him: (turns to the girls) Well, you either drink with us or you gotta go.
Me: Listen, I hope you two are funny or something if you wanna stay. Tell us a joke.
At this precise moment, one of their friends show up and they ignore me and talk to her. I immediately realized they just want our drinks and ignored them from them on.
Before continuing with the experience at the pool club, did you notice the big error that my fellow bachelor made? Hint: it’s in red. He offered her a trade. He said “here’s alcohol for your attention”. It’s all backwards! Attention is the only tool we have. “The cost of our attention is escalation.” No, no, no! I spoke promptly after he said that to minimize the damage, but alas, they weren’t interested anyways.
Anyway, a couple of more girls from that group came by and I teased them about their tattoos. I told one of the girls it looks like she drew hers on with a pen. She laughed and pretended to scribble it down, then turned to her friends and focused on them. Okay, this entire group is made up of time wasters. They left after another 10 minutes or so. A bit later on, I said “guys, they’re just here for our drinks”. In response, one of the two guys that were approaching said “yeah, so?”
Mother fuckers. I would never hang out with these guys by choice. It reeks of low value.
Later on those girls came back then left because we ran out of alcohol. As the day went on, I saw those same girls at a different table. I have absolutely zero resentment towards those ladies; they’re just being girls. But all the guys, man, they are enablers. We may lament about the state of our American women, but the real issue lies with our weak men.
To drive the point home, I have one last incident to share. One dude found a masseuse who was legitimately only a masseuse3. She was 20 or 21. The guy had her come up to the hotel for a massage in the common area. She was professional and nice enough. After she finished up the massage, the guys offered her alcohol and weed.
In addition to her fertile age, she was 40 pounds overweight and had bad acne. Did I forget to mention that? Oopsie. Moments after the social offering, she also dropped her nice, professional attitude for a strong-framed, social attitude. It gets worse.
The guys asked her to join them for a night out. “Where y’all going?,” she asked. “What do you recommend?,” the guys responded. She suggested a hookah bar called McFadden’s. Now, the frame is already lost. It’s been lost. Even if she were hot, there’s no way to salvage the low-value display she’d been given thus far, but had I been with guys who knew a thing or two I would have jumped on the tease: “McFadden’s does hookah? No, you definitely had too much Jameson that night. The Irish don’t do hookah. Fellas, we gotta keep a leash on this one.”
Instead, these natural playerZ said “well if they play dope music let’s do it. Fellas, we’re going to McFadden’s tonight.” I excused myself for the night as they got up to partake in the squalor festivities. Why would I spend my time with an ugly stranger? Even more importantly, why would I spend my time with guys who give her attention? The guys I got along with also departed for the night.
I shouldn’t be mad about any of this. I know this is the state of dating and typical of modern culture, but I return to NYC with some anger in my heart. I think it’s the wasted time, money and energy on the trip. Going into it, I sensed this is what it would devolve too, but I set those negative thoughts to the side and focused on the loyalty towards my old friend. Now, I can’t help but think that I lost sleep, gained an extra 1-2 pounds that I needn’t have, missed 2 jiu jitsu sessions and 2 Daygame sessions and financially contributed to the clubbing scene.
I’d much rather experiment with recipes on my new Ninja than go back to a club.
But let’s take a moment to look up at the silver lining. I’m nearly 700 sets into my daygame life with 3 lays. These are atrocious stats, so I often times go back and ask myself “am I doing this right? Is this red pill stuff real?” Whenever I hear of non-Game guys pulling, I get drawn back into the mainstream side of dating. Most commonly, though, I discover they’re either (A) completely bullshitting every aspect of their experience or (B) they’re pulling untouchables. Naturals are few and far between, and for whatever reason are outside of my social circles. Just as get-rich-quick schemes are illusions, so are SMV hacks. Indulge at the cost of your time.
This experience, instead, reaffirms that the only way to pull high-quality is through cultivating high SMV and developing Game. Girls don’t fuck down, and they can’t fuck who they haven’t met. Through the last 700 sets over 2 years, my Game and SMV have certainly edged upwards and my stats will improve. Especially after this Chinese Bat Virus passes and things go back to normal.
- For the sake of technicality, let’s define “untouchable” as a girl 5 or below.
- Yes, 1000%. Your shitty vodka costs about $400/bottle at these institutes of exploitative demand. The capitalist in me is proud of the business owners.
- Okay she probably was also a prostitute, but those services weren’t rendered to our group as far as I know.
>>I excused myself for the night as they got up to partake in the squalor festivities. Why would I spend my time with an ugly stranger? Even more importantly, why would I spend my time with guys who give her attention? The guys I got along with also departed for the night.
Better off going to the gym and raising SMV.
Weird congruence, yesterday I went to one of these types of places with some friends… it seemed like a not-great place to pick up chicks. Possible post coming on this subject, but I’d say a lot of the guys there and a fair number of the girls would have been better off spending more time in the gym and NOT drinking or eating carbs, and less time in that kind of environment. Evolutionary has selected us to be attracted to health in the opposite sex, and a lot of the people there, of both sexes, showed low to average health in their bodies.
I will say this, in terms of absolute numbers there were a lot of girls with good bodies. Proportionally, I’d say about 1 in 5 had a good body, and maybe 1 in 15 had a nice face to go along with it.
But there is certainly selection bias to these estimates: “untouchables” are also invisible.
>>The capitalist in me is proud of the business owners.
The system worked. The rubes lost their money. The girls got “free” drinks (cost: some minor amount of dignity). The club owners got paid. The rubes got to go home and tell everyone how “lit” Vegas is. The taxman got a piece of every transaction (he doesn’t get much from game/daygame… he gets a cut of liquor sales, coffee sales, shoe sales, that sort of thing, but it’s nothing like his cut from “nightlife”).
Many things that improve SMV (gyms, vegetables), are relatively inexpensive, compared to clubs, or pricey cars, or the other dumb shit guys spend their money on…
What I’m hearing is “Breeze, you should open up a night club in Vegas.”
I had a similar issue with wondering whether I was weaselling or not. In the end I settled on an arbitrary rule of “half of what’s good for a beginner is good for someone who’s advanced” (intermediates can then find their place within the two). I used to do 10 sets in two hours, now I do five sets in two hours. I used to do 30 sets a week, now I’ll do 15. Those arbitrary rules push you through those days where girls aren’t giving off much signal for you to use and make you approach the girls who will happen to like you.
That sounds like a good tactic to hedge between likely sets, and simply attractive sets. This should also help me define more precisely what the second layer filter is.
First one of your posts I’ve read. Very good. But, mate, you were at a fucking bachelor party. Surely that’s not about you?… You don’t have to be “gaming” all the time. I have found when I’m around non-game mates and I just enjoy myself, girls will be naturally drawn to you because they see that you are having real fun, stick a wee bit of game on top of that and it’s gold.
Thanks, man.
I realize the post reads negative as I highlighted the game-related aspects of the trip. But definitely, I was there for my buddy. Smiles, jokes, camaraderie and childhood stories all around. In fact, half the dudes from the trip number closed me to stay in touch (it must be my long eyelashes). The club portion and its cost (more than 1k/person) got to me, and this post was its cathartic release.
I’ll be seeing a different group of non-game friends in a couple of weeks, but this time I’ll drop all “game expectations”. And I’ll trade out the club for a bar–that’s more my natural environment as it is.
> I’m nearly 700 sets into my daygame life with 3 lays. These are atrocious stats
That is three more lays than I had at 700… but I have since fucked dozens of girls from daygame, so… if you stay with it… it does get better.
VEGAS is where ugly amateurs go to party. I am serious. You know NYC… no way “plastic, sunburnt” Vegas can compete with NYC. But what it can do… is give very low value people “pay to play” access. That is what Vegas is all about.
If I were in that situation: I’d put in my time, and then start to cherry pick sets using the group as a homebase. Stand up, scan for what you want… if you see an attractive lone wolf, you leave the table and “daygame approach” her. And suddenly… you’re not in Vegas anymore, you’re in daygame land. Everywhere is “daygame land” if you can shake off the “frame” of “The Vegas Trip” or “the airport” or “this is library, I can’t approach her here, can I?”
> they can’t fuck who they haven’t met.
This is so essential.
>> I apply an extra filtering layer on girls before I approach them. Not only do they have to be physically attractive, they have to have something else that draws me to them
I do exactly this ^. “Hot girl” isn’t good enough. So what. What am I going to say, “You hot, babe.” It’s not enough. So, “a story” comes to me, or I don’t approach…
But…
>> And to be fair, the application of this filter does feel like AA getting to me
“they can’t fuck who they haven’t met” works both ways… you can’t get into a girl when you haven’t seen how she pings with you, just the two of you, eye to eye. Chemistry is real. The man’s gravity kickstarts the chemistry.
I can’t begin to say how many fantastic moments I have with girls that “weren’t that hot,” but that “came alive” in the approach and then on the dates (and often in bed).
I am thinking of the Mormon Virgin (that I took in the ass), and she started as a “low 6” that drank chocolate milk on our dates… she was “weird” until she was amazing. 4 very, very interesting dates. Sex on the last two. I think about her all the time. One of my all time favorites. I miss that girl.
I’m not suggesting a man with your experience needs to spam approach. But STAY CURIOUS. That “feels like AA” is a real thing that is blocking you (at least some of the time) from a really, really juicy surprise.
If you’re running “hot” and picking off high-quality sets left/right… keep doing what you’re doing. But on those days when you need to push some energy into it… or it’s not going to happen… if you see that “one little thing,” go flip the stone. See what is REALLY THERE, not what you pre-screen without even a word.
>> Krauser… written about pre-approach calibration
Krauser puts a lot of emphasis on creating IOI and often reading the girl before you’ve talked to her. Great if you’re metric for success is “low approach to lay.” Mine is “total magic with girls.”
I have a TON of experience… and I think both concepts hold me back. 95% of girls I fucked did NOT give me an IOI before I approached. And I am WRONG all the time in my pre-approach assessment. “Wrong” both ways, where “hot” sets are ice cold, and where “meh” girls are a wonderful experience (when they “pop” open).
So… STAY CURIOUS. Curiosity is a gift. For her, to be noticed and checked out. And for you… to get past the inner critic that judges both you/her… and kills the party before it can start.
Viva Breeze.
>STAY CURIOUS
Yes. I’m going to experiment with splitting sets with those that inspire (for lack of a better word) me, and those that are merely (for lack of a better word) attractive.
>If you’re running “hot” and picking off high-quality sets left/right
Haven’t had one of these days in a while! But they’ll come back. The day I met Runner and V, each of us got 10+ sets roaming the streets. I believe I’ll really be able to develop that pre-screen filter and differentiate it from AA once volume returns.
Appreciate the overall encouragement.
As a pre-approach filter, you can force an IoI (or IoD) non-verbally. Doing this is quite simple; when the girl is walking by, give her a solid, prolonged look. As Krauser points out in Overkill, you’re completely open about who you are and your desires. Brazen is another word he uses. You’d be surprised the number of girls who’ll notice.
Some of the reactions I’ve gotten are:
1) She makes eye contact but is dismissive. (IoD)
2) She makes eye contact but it’s a curious look. (weak IoI)
3) She notices your eye contact but doesn’t return it. She makes you feel lecherous. (IoD)
4) She notices your eye contact but doesn’t return it. However, she reciprocates with a coquettish vibe. (IoI)
5) She’ll proactively start moving away as you’re about to walk by. (strong IoD)
6) She’ll make strong, lingering eye contact. What Krauser calls ‘The Look’. (strong IoI)
7) She’ll give you an incredulous look, amazed at your brazenness. (IoI)
8) She’ll open you. (strong IoI)
9) She’s completely oblivious. She hasn’t noticed it. (Neither IoI nor IoD)
It’s fun doing this in between sets. Even with girls who are in groups. You can have a number of non-verbal interactions on top of the girls you talk to. It also keeps you out of your head.
That’s an extensive list!
Though I gotta say, I’m always feeling lecherous.
Pingback: Daygame in Las Vegas – Brown Daygame