Who is the Breeze?

Rivelino’s Interview with Breeze

In many ways, this was my debut blog post.  I wasn’t expecting to write so much in that interview series, but the pen just got away from me.  Who knew I had so much to say about so little.  I initially expected to keep my answers direct but limited, but as I began responding to them, it dawned on me that I didn’t know many of the answers myself.  I don’t “know thy self”. Going through that process was a learning experience.  I’m in this to get laid, obviously, but that doesn’t happen without self-development.  And that’s precisely what Riv’s questions forced me to do: self-develop.

I’ve reproduced the post below. You can find the original at Rivelino’s Diary. It lays out part of my origin story.

Twenty Questions with Breeze

This is one of my favorite interviews. Breeze is in his early 30s, lives in New York, and is just starting out on his journey. Getting to know him — here and on DM — has been inspiring. In some ways we are quite different, but in other ways, I feel we are very similar.

Check out his interview below — where he honestly shares his hopes, fears and insecurities — and also follow him on Twitter and on his new blog.

Twenty Questions with Breeze

1. Basic biographical info
Name: Breeze
Age: early 30’s
Height: 5’9
Ethnicity: Pakistani, born in the US
Lifetime bangs: single digits
Current city: NYC
Daygame approaches: About 400

2. How would you rate yourself from 1-10?
I’m a light-skinned foreigner with a big nose and bushy eyebrows. Most people can’t tell my ethnicity. Looks-wise, I’d say I’m a 6, though I have my moments where I feel like a 7. Three months ago, I started lifting weights with the goal of sculpting definition across my arms to go out as a consistent 7. There will be a cool Breeze passing through this summer.

3. Describe yourself at 17, and describe yourself now.
At 17: shy around girls, awkward around everybody, nerdy when alone
Today: open-minded to new actions, eager to become the best man I can be, hopeful that I will become that man

4. How did you discover Game? Who were your biggest influences?
I heard of The Game around 2008 when the complimentary VH1 tv show came out, but dismissed it as creepy and manipulative. After finishing college and still not getting laid, I gave in and read The Game in 2010. Four months later I had my first lay. It was an eye opening experience. It was the first time I encountered the idea that “men and women are different”. I didn’t fully internalize it at the time, but it set the stage for years to come. That first lay turned into a 4 year relationship. When it ended, I was crushed and depressed. I suffered anxiety attacks for a month. Writing helped me recover. Soon after I became determined to date again–no man should die with a single notch on his belt. I went back studying game from LoveSystems and did my first stop according to their products. It was awkward and completely uncalibrated, but I still remember the reaction to that first daygame stop: “oh my god, that’s so cute! I’m actually on my way to meet my boyfriend, but thank you so much!” It felt great at the time, though now I understand it for what it really is: a weak approach lacking intent.

The idea of daygame really resonated with me. I’m deeply introverted and the idea of going out at night spending a lot of money on alcohol and sleeping late never appealed to me. I much rather spend time with people one on one. After plenty of online searching, I discovered the Daygame Blueprint in 2015. Seeing those high-quality videos of Yad starting conversations with absolutely beautiful women inspired me. I saw what he was doing, and he made it look so simple! I started following Tom Torero (welcome back!) after seeing his talk in that video series. By association, I discovered Krauser, then Tomassi. I studied their material for 4 years before seriously approaching. In parallel I did online game for 1 year with 1 tinder lay, then fell into a long-term relationship through social circle. That ended in 2018. Though I was aware of the techniques and mentality of daygame, it wasn’t until I found Nash’s blog in early 2019 that I found the inner motive to go out on the streets. He writes about women in a way that feels real. He writes about women from a place of genuine affection, not as a conquest. As I read about his experiences, I wanted my own. Now days, I’m taking action towards creating them.

5. What are your current sticking points with women and pickup?
Everything. I’m learning a ton. I’m just about 400 approaches in and have made massive strides. My frame is significantly stronger, and it’s carrying over into my relationships with my friends, family and coworkers. When I get stuck on a text, on a date, or when facing a shit test, I can rely on my frame more and more these days.

From a technical perspective, my stacks during the approach are still too boring — and sometimes I just draw a blank, my texting is much better (thanks to Mr. V) but still “too nice”, my dates are smoother in terms of escalation but my venue selection still needs work, and my fucking gets the job done (girls generally orgasm) but it’s missing dominance (currently reading Sex God Method to make gains here). Furthermore, I’m developing my daygame and dating “material”, like my stories, questions, verbal escalation spikes and my physical escalation gambits. Krauser’s books (Mastery and Infinite) were excellent for getting some gambits, though now I’m developing my own.

Although there is a ton out there for me to learn, I believe my self-awareness will bring me closer to my goals. I analyze my actions, and her responses to my actions, in an obsessive fashion. I’m consciously aware of a girls intonations when she speaks, when she scrunches her nose, when she squints a bit as she’s expressing an opinion, her awkward smile when she tries to tease me, the fire in her eyes when she shit tests me, or the meekness on her lips when she comfort tests me. Gentleman, when women express these micro-signals to us, they expect us to understand what they’re saying. As men of Game, it is our duty to learn how to decipher her expression (not just her words). Once we know what she’s saying, we can then continue with our seduction.

Yohami says “give her what she wants”. Krauser asks “where is she at?”. I believe the two are conveying the same concept. Nash and Mr. V have further explained this topic to me in terms of “feel”. These days, more and more, I can rely on the “feel” of a situation. Although I may not know the best action to take in a given scenario, once I perform that action I know if it “felt right” or “felt wrong”. Here are a couple of examples:

“felt right”: On the third date, a girl tells me about getting ripped off 60$ when first moving to NYC by a fairly dumbass scheme. She said “I’m not upset about it, but I won’t do it again.” From her tone and body language, it was clear she was bothered by it. The worse thing to do is tease her. This is a comfort test (something I learned from Red Quest), so that’s what I gave her: comfort. “You live and learn. Plus, I bet you really made that guys day. Anyways…”. Was I too nice there? I don’t think so; I didn’t harp on about the subject. Gave her the comfort I sensed she wanted and moved on.

“felt wrong”: On this day, I lost two leads while at work in my texting, so I was feeling a bit lousy. Later on, near a cute coworker, I tell a guy worker “I’ll send you my number so we can follow up about playing pool sometime.” He responds “Cool. Hey are you free tonight, actually?” With a smile I say “not tonight, gotta unwind this evening”. That was wrong and I felt it immediately. The reason it was wrong is that it implied things in my life aren’t great. That’s the wrong frame. The correct frame is: my life is great and nothing can get me down. I kind of knew this beforehand, hence the smile when I responded negatively, but I immediately felt my response was suboptimal.

6. What have you learned about women that you had gotten wrong before?
Women like to be led. They don’t want to be treated as equals. This isn’t to say that women are less than men, but it’s ridiculous to believe they’re the same. They’re complimentary to men. They may not have the capacity to operate at the level of precision and abstraction that men do, but they have a finely-tuned radar they use to best judge the strengths of a man. When I first learned about game, I thought “how can women be so dumb”? Now I understand that they can evaluate a man in a way that’s far more discerning than I, especially in my pre-game years, ever could. It’s why women will fuck a depressing, aloof, smelly Bob Dylan but not a well-groomed, nice, funny Aziz Ansari.

7. You first had sex at 23. Why were you such a late bloomer?
I want to be honest in this assessment, but note that in no way am I blaming my circumstances for my late entry into the sexual marketplace. I’ve already gone through the phases of anger and resentment.

I grew up poor. My goal growing up was simply to not be poor. I wanted to fuck; lord knows I masturbated enough to want a girl with me, but my first priority was to not be broke. My parents, coming from a very religious background that emphasized education, encouraged me early on to be a studious young lad with the expectation that I would no longer be broke once I’m educated. That was my drive for a long time. From elementary school through grad school, I studied through nearly every weekend. Unfortunately, hyper-focused nerds are not the pussy magnet for shy girls that Hollywood cinema can make them out to be.

I didn’t worry about developing social skills or being part of social circles. Essentially, anything outside of school, I considered a distraction. I allowed two diversions into my young life to relax: tv and video games. TV had the negative effect of teaching me anti-game. I learned game from Chandler and Ross in Friends. Turns out, that shit don’t work. My parents don’t have good social skills either. They are both hermits, without too many friends. We didn’t host people over, or hang out with my parents friends. When we went to gatherings with the extended family, my parents were usually the quiet ones. I was too.

Between the poor social skills and being brought up on anti-game, I experienced a dry spell for the ages. To give you a sense of how weak my game was, I once went on a coffee date where I bragged about my student loans because I thought was conveying myself as a self-made man (I was still in college, so I wasn’t “made” by far). I was 21-22 at the time. It took another 4-5 years before I could see why that was a mistake.

I think there are additional factors at play. I was ashamed of my sexuality, given that I grew up religious. I had low self-worth, deriving from being broke and having parents that fared poorly in social gatherings. Maybe a therapist would uncover other explanations, but upon reflection, that’s my best understanding of the time lapse between my birth and first penetration.

8. You told me you were afraid to lose yourself in the PUA world. Do you still have that fear?
Back when I said that, I didn’t realize the positive effects that game could have outside of picking up girls. I had no idea that my relationships with my family, friends, coworkers and colleagues would improve. Who knew that calibration is effective in all relationships. And the first step to calibration is reading a person’s nonverbal cues. I can now read body language, facial expressions and vocal intonations to a much sharper degree. On everybody. I’m learning when to tease, challenge, comfort, and for women–escalate. I’m consistently asking myself “how did they react towards something that I–or what someone else, if in a group–did?”

When I first ready Krauser’s explanations of amber lights, I had no idea what he meant. Now I kind of do. What I realized is this: her immediate reaction with an amber light means you have to listen to see if she engages with you differently over the next few minutes. Does she give you more, less or equal eye contact? Does she talk/smile/laugh/engage more, less or equal? If equal, wait a bit and escalate again. If more, continue ramping things up. If less, cool down yourself and disengage a bit. If she remains cold, call it an early night because you’re wasting your time; otherwise take another shot as she warms up again.

I can also spot frame control these days. I see it when interacting with people one on one, where they try to one up me on a story. Or in social groups where one person gets jealous of another and tries to subtly bring them down. Or at work, when our new manager tries to lay down his authority in muted ways. I’ve noticed at work there exists a corporate hierarchy separate from the social hierarchy. I’m beginning to see the social pecking order. It’s like poker: “if you can’t spot the fish, then you are the fish.” Similarly, if you can’t rank the social pecking order, you’re probably somewhere at the bottom. Perhaps the most practical takeaway is that I’m better equipped to deal with frame control. The funny thing is, when I sense someone flexing on my frame, I typically just ignore it because many times I don’t give a fuck. If it’s a cute girl testing my frame, then I try to calibrate in order to game her, but I can’t be bothered to dedicate the requisite energy to optimally respond to these tests from most coworkers, extended family members, or acquaintances. Rivelino, you have some great writes up on frame control here and here.

Beyond misunderstanding the value of pick-up outside of women, I thought I would end up becoming a goofy, creepy Neil Strauss* or RSDTyler like character that people would avoid, except for other odd PUAs. I’ve since had the fortune to meet a handful of legitimate men in the community who have profoundly changed my opinion on this subject.

Furthermore, I didn’t expect that daygame would help me “find myself”. My identity is changing. At work, I was called the “cool kid”, though granted my coworkers are techie corporate types, but nonetheless this is a far cry from the boy described in questions #7 and #9. I don’t know what lies ahead for me, but I do now there are bigger changes a-coming. A couple of posts that have inspired my change in attitude towards this subject are Magnum’s There Is No Endgame post and Nash’s Move to Japan. The future looks bright to me, despite the on-going struggle of learning the art of daygame.

*I have a ton of respect for what Neil Strauss has done for Game. However, I don’t imagine I’d enjoy grabbing a beer with him.

9. You grew up “broke and Muslim in the American South”. Tell me more about this experience.
Generally, I felt different. My school was about 50% white and 50% black. I bring that up because whites hung out with whites and vice versa, unless they were both on the football team. White people generally had more money than blacks at my school. Being broke, I identified with black more than whites.

Being broke wasn’t an “in” to hang out with black folks, but I felt closer to them. So I adopted their style. Baggy clothes, in the 90’s mind you, and a ton of rap. But I never felt I really belonged with them. Black guys dated black girls (and whites white girls). I didn’t date anyone. I also didn’t play sports — barring 1 ferocious year of wrestling in high school, which many young black men did. I was also a nerd that studied my ass off. Growing up, I felt completely isolated. This experience isn’t the sort of thing that inspires confidence in a growing, young boy. Hence, question #7 above.

My parents are nice people. They always showed me and my brother love, but practically speaking, we didn’t have much. When I say we were broke, I mean we got evicted from our home on more than one occasion. Most people can’t relate, much less empathize with those kind of experiences. When I went to college, it was the first time I was completely surrounded by people who had no idea what it’s like to wear hand-me-downs.

I’m not particularly fond of my childhood, though if I could go back with what I know now, I think I would enjoy high school. In fact, I might have even gotten laid back then.

I want to again emphasize that I hold no victim mentality. No wing or friend has heard this part of my life. It perhaps explain why I’m a late bloomer, and perhaps why my frame is still developing, but I don’t care for anyone’s pity or empathy on this matter. I only want to improve from the man I am today so that I can get laid tomorrow.

10. A weakness you’ve overcome, and how did you overcome it?
I did my first 10 daygame approaches on my own. This means something very real to me. I still get AA, but I will always know that my first lifetime approaches were done completely on my own.

On a deeper level, I was waist deep in anti-game for a long time. My game today is still developing, but the biggest gains I’ve made is in unlearning anti-game. I don’t involuntarily DLV left and right, I don’t feign interest so people will like me, I don’t go out of my way to be “nice”. My nonverbal communication is much more solid as well: my shoulders are generally relaxed, my smile is transforming into a smirk, and I talk lower and slower.

I work in Corporate America, and nearly everyone around me has weak frame. If it weren’t for the formalities and guidelines of the formal hierarchy, most managers would have no power over the employees they lead. People follow their leadership due to corporate structure, not because they have charisma or social leadership qualities, and certainly not the social skill set necessary to attract high quality women. Unfortunately, this means I don’t witness frame very frequently, but on the plus side I keep my skills sharp by observing what not to do. It’s like watching recreational sports, you know they’re doing it wrong so you can avoid some of their mistakes, but you still need to figure out how to do it right.

11. Your favorite type of girl?
I like short, petite asian girls. A lot. Though I can be seen approaching a cute brunette from time to time. Something about that jet black hair over fair skin just really gets me. And asian girls, especially the ones with a bit of melanin (think Taiwanese or darker Japanese) and curly hair, just awe me. I’ll trade a set of big breasts for a slim waist and perky ass any day. Give her those cute, puffy asian cheeks with slim lips and my mind goes to dark, naughty places.

12. Your thoughts on love?
I believe in it, hard. I don’t believe there’s a single soulmate out there, but I do believe we fall in love, over and over again, with many different women. Love is an important emotion, and it’s one that I’m not afraid to want or desire. But I am afraid to embrace it…I don’t want to get burned. The day that I no longer fear falling in love, is the day I hit a major milestone in my journey.

I think back to Krauser’s post on Deep Conversion whenever I think of love. I want the ability to deeply convert girls and have them fall in to my frame. I want the ability to facilitate their love for me. Perhaps this is egotistical, but I believe it’s more about development.

I realize I’m still very early in my journey, and many of my thoughts and goals expressed in this post can dramatically shift as I evolve.

13. Do you want to get married and have kids, or stay single and have a lot of girlfriends? Tell me your ideal endgame scenario.
“There is no end game” — I must have read this post 10 times, and I still don’t have a clear answer to this question. More importantly, that’s fine with me. My current focus is to learn Game. Until I can regularly bring new women into my life, I don’t think I have the mental arsenal to infer my life’s end game. It would be premature to do so.

That doesn’t mean I don’t fantasize about it, though. Living as an unwavering bachelor in a foreign land where I fall in love with the local girls, culture, and vibe is certainly one possibility. In this life, I save up my money for the next few years then work part time and monetize some side interests for a modest income as I travel the world. Alternatively, I imagine a life settled down with a beautiful, wife-worthy woman with whom we have 3-4 children. I turn the boys into men; I give them a head start and watch them flourish. I teach the young girls how to evaluate men and find happiness in a world that tells them to “be a strong, independent women who don’t need no man”. I teach them, along with my beautifully petite and dark-haired wife, to embrace their inherent creativity and femininity.

I don’t know my endgame, I only know that I have to walk many more miles along my player’s path before I can formulate an answer. Perhaps my endgame is learning what Krauser discusses in his Deep Conversion post. With that knowledge and frame, I will then know what it takes to wife up a girl and build a strong, happy family.

For now, Breeze just wanna get laid. He don’t know what lies beyond.

14. How’s it going with BP, what’s the update?
BP was my second daygame lay. We missed each other for a month due to logistics since we slept together, just before Christmas. I fell for her over the 5 dates we had, which is how many it took to fuck. She flaked on our last date because she was sick, then I cancelled the next one after her wishy-washy response:

I really liked her. She was the best girl I’ve had yet in terms of looks, personality and femininity, I think my mistake was giving her too much of myself early on, and I think she sensed it. Since we slept together, there was a point where I was lovesick as I was waiting for our logistics to clear, then anger that she wouldn’t give herself to me (she doesn’t text me much, and with two flakes lacking alternative dates shows me that she’s not interested in me). Now, I see her as a lesson…a very, very cute lesson that I want to fuck and cuddle again and again. But my heart isn’t in it the same way. I miss her. No, that’s not it. I’m upset at myself, because I failed to convert her.

15. Do you want to talk about your recent emotional breakdown? I think it would be helpful for other men to hear about this experience.

“I may never become the man I want to be” – that was my epiphany. It’s unnerving to stare that in the face. I still haven’t accepted it, and when I do think about it, it stirs up emotions in me that I’m not ready to face again. Not yet. Imagine a dream that you have, that you hold dear, and you have a plan to fulfill this dream, one that you’ve thought about and studied for years. You work your ass off towards this dream. You’ve made big gains towards this goal. Then suddenly, you realize the dream is 10x further off than you ever thought, and though your hard work got you somewhere, it very well may never be enough. You may always be a little rascal scurrying about towards some life goal, but you’re too small to achieve something so grand. I still feel this. I had my breakdown when I felt this for the first time, when I felt how far I am from my goal and how much improvement my frame and game still require. I don’t know if I’ll make it there. The only viable option, however, is to try. I wasn’t satisfied before I jumped on this journey, so what’s the point of jumping off?

I am grateful for the men before me who have helped, and are helping, men like me through this journey. You are improving lives that would otherwise be incomplete.

I thank Nash for teaching me about this greater goal.

16. Four books every man should read.
The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi, to break free from our early learnings that “men and women are the same”. Read this and see how it applies to your female friends and coworkers. This book alone will make you bitter. Don’t take any action on your learnings from this book; you’ll end up pushing girls away.
Daygame by Tom Torero, to understand that knowledge of the Red Pill opens doors to abundance.
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover, to learn basic self-worth. For those who were taught to be a good, wholesome, nice boy when growing up, this book acts as a gentle bridge to TRP and game.
Sapiens by Yuval Harari (ignore the philosophy in the latter parts of the book), to understand our ingrained mentality based on the hunter-gatherer lifestyle our ancestors navigated.

17. I love your name Breeze and your Twitter logo. How did you come up with it?
I spent a few months knowing I wanted to join the daygame community online, and when JJ Cale‘s song Call Me the Breeze came on my Spotify, I knew that’s who I’d be. The Breeze doesn’t get bogged down by obstacles, he finds another way around. He adapts. Shit tests pass right through him. Women love the cool Breeze passing by on a warm day, and there’s a sense of oneness with nature when she embraces him. My journey in daygame is to become the seductive Breeze.

18. “The best thing about women is _____.”
They are so silly, it’s ridiculous. They are so childish, it’s adorable. They are so dramatic, it’s hilarious. Women have an energy and playfulness that can bring great delight to the systematic, logical world men operate in. As men, we must learn to be the conduit to a girl’s vessel that facilitates the release of her joyful glee. We must embrace their idiosyncrasies and enable their sweetness and love. That is our duty to our women.

19. “The worst thing about women is _____.”
Their ruthlessness. I don’t have the bitterness of pure TRP men, but I do understand where they’re coming from. Riv, you recently posted this old article on shit testing from a woman’s perspective, and it will bring a neophyte of the game to tears. The logic, however, is infallible: a man who can’t stand up *to* his girl is unlikely to stand up *for* his girl.

Perhaps their ruthlessness is not a bad thing, but it’s something that men of our day are not raised to acknowledge or understand.

20. What is the most important thing you’ve learned pursuing game?
I’m an emotional creature. I never accepted that in the past. I grew up hyper-analytical. I was the math nerd. I denied my emotions, dismissing them as weak. However, thanks to encouragement from Nash and Mr. V, I’ve learned that my emotions are my greatest arsenal in learning and applying game (see question 5). When I embrace them, I can much better connect, not just to women, but people in general. My social skills are improving daily, since my emotions act as a feedback mechanism to my actions when I’m with people. But it’s not just my external skills that have improved; I’m generally happier. My life has more ups and downs, but on average, I’m happier. The breakdown discussed above in question 15 is a direct result of me embracing my emotions. I was conscious of that decision. It was painful and I knew it would hurt, but I also knew there was something there I couldn’t otherwise experience. I came out a better man for it. I came out a man more content, despite having gained knowledge of a deeper fear within.

All this, just so I can get laid.