I spent 87 days in Spain this fall, just below the 90-day visa limited granted to American tourists. In Madrid I saw the highest density of attractive girls yet1, and though I was getting numbers they didn’t convert into dates. I attribute this more to their lack of interest in me than any particular fault in my texting. I found girls were generally polite and pleasant during the approach even if their english levels were low, but their eyes never lit up in a way that reveals sexual interest.
While I was out there, Thomas Crown sent me an early version of his newly released texting guide, Give ’em Hell, Kid. Interesting timing…
I decided to try out the suggestions in his book with my leads since then, one of which was a Spanish commie I met in Sevilla.
I met her near the big cathedral in the city center wearing an oversized leather suit, giving indication to her outsider status. Overall the set went decent; she played along with the teasing, we chatted about her studies then I spiked before taking her number. I texted her my name and bid adieu. It was a textbook daygame set.
I waited until the next day around noon to send the feeler giving her ample time to text first, if she was so inclined. She wasn’t, so away I went with the opening text.
She responded well and after a few rounds of texting I rolled off for the day–in contrast to my regular behavior I would now send the date invite. Instead I went for a second round of texting the next day before asking her out for drinks to which she agreed.
In extending the length of my texting, I realized the reason I didn’t do so in the past was because I struggled to generate clever things to text that wouldn’t be misconstrued without the ability to complement my words with a grin and nudge. A significant portion of TC’s book is dedicated to inspiring the reader to generate his own material along the various stages of texting. This is, in principal trivial, but in practice we have to do this while navigating logistics, maintain momentum between pauses and read the moment without direct, physical subcommunication.
My other concern was that by widening the pace of the texting, the lead would get bored and drop off. It turns out by just not being boring, the lead stayed warm and she did, indeed, show up for the date. The topics of our texting fed nicely into the first few minutes of the date, though it wasn’t too long before she asked “do you follow politics?” Despite it being important for her studies, I managed to minimize any such topics of discussion for the remainder of the evening.
It would be two weeks before I got her out a second time, a long period to keep a number intact. I don’t have a plan for such outliers, so I followed closely to what TC discusses in his book regarding pacing and calibration.
Lo and behold, she came out a second time knowing it was my last night in Spain. On this date, however, I could not escape the topic of politics. She would discuss more and more her interest in left-wing socioeconomics. Throughout most of this, I would acknowledge her thoughts, add a bit of American flavor, then veer away into something tangibly related like history, some movie, or–as is my bounce-back fodder–music. A snippet of our conversation would sound like:
Her: Things were different for my parents. They don’t understand what the world is like today.
Me: No question, the boomers grew up in a different generation.
Her: Can we just get rid of 60’s?
Me: Absolutely not, I’m not giving up my Jimi Hendrix.
I suffered two of hours vague political jabs, interceded by moments of her playing along with my verbal teasing and role playing–she was to learn Portuguese so she could teach it to my 12 farm kids with 4 different wives.
She didn’t, however, take any of my physical escalation. I deluded myself decided that she was just the sort of girl that isn’t keen on physical contact in public. After the second drink I went for the bounce back to listen to the new RHCP album, but she declined at the building door. Instead I walked her back to a common plaza trying to amp up the moment with heavy teasing. She made another leftist comment, which I told her would make her a commie in the US, just a regular old Marxist. She laughed it all up, pretending she had a grey beard. Here I went to hold her hand, planning to pull her in and sweep her of her feet…instead she dodged my attempt again, and that was that.
No amount of texting would have turned this around, but I am confident to say that TC’s new guide contains sufficiently valuable content to improve this part of my game. Rather than giving the reader lines to copy and paste, he provides a plan to navigate the unexpected twists and turns that inevitably come up. This gives the reader more confidence by preparing him for different outcomes, which in turn helps him calibrate his text replies to, ultimately, just not be boring.
An entire book dedicated to not being boring…an excellent topic to bring up on your date, I should add. I like to dive into this topic right after I dazzle my date by explaining the spatial mechanics of hitting the perfect front stop. Girls melt for it.
Between the practical guidance on handling edge cases in texting and the opening pages on general daygame tips and mindsets, I certainly recommend you add Thomas Crown’s new guide to that secret folder on your computer where you hide your game material.
I hope to write more about my time daygaming in Spain in the next week or two.
Have a Merry Christmas, gents.
> though I was getting numbers they didn’t convert into dates. I attribute this more to their lack of interest in me than any particular fault in my texting.
Maybe you’ll get into this in future posts about Spain, but I’ve found that this happens in cultures where the women are heavily brainwashed by social circle (such was my experience with Argentinian seasonal workers in Miami).
When they’re in set, they’re in the moment and will give the number out of politeness, but when they get home and think about it, they realize there’s no way they could possibly reveal to their friends that they’re going on a date with a — gasp — stranger!
I lived in Barcelona for two years. Never have I found people so limited by their social circle as the Spanish – and to a greater extent, the Catalonians.
Despite near-native Spanish and fluent Catalan, I never managed to crack local social circles or local women.
That’s a good data point.
I’ve heard about this dynamic from multiple sources now, though most foreigners I spoke to have an A or B level proficiency of Spanish so we supposed the language barrier was a part of it. I guess not.
The Spanish are certainly proud of their history and culture, and when we look at a world map of their Land Upon Which the Sun Never Sets in the 1600’s, it starts to make sense.
I recently followed free (https://twitter.com/free_daygame), who in contrast to our experience, is a Spaniard that is well received in Spain.
Sad news about Argentina…it’s likely my next destination.
I find with the European girls I have to stretch out more time for them. Whereas with American girls I can quickly move through the stages of physical escalation in just an hour or two, all the European girls Ive met have needed a longer amount of time that is usual stretched over multiple dates. So, when in Europe, I make more small moves, just a touch on the hand, a light guide on her back, a squeeze of the shoulder with the low intensity of a boxer staying on the outside throwing jabs. After an amount of time they get comfortable and might make a bigger move but it seems to me that they enjoy a slower pace which I am happy to provide.