Fortune telling and social anxiety

My biggest barrier to social success has always been the fear that I won’t be good enough to please someone. When hanging out with a group of friends, my concern was that I wouldn’t be cool enough for everyone to like me. This held me back. I would act in a way that would please everyone, or at least I tried to. I was very…nice. For some time, in fact, I used to be intentionally awkward because I couldn’t stand the tension of not knowing what people thought of me. It was a simple idea: be awkward and only those who accept you for shitty social skills will still hang out with you. Of course I wasn’t aware of this strategy. It’s something I picked up in college as I hung out with equally awkward people. Some had better social skills, but I didn’t understand what they were doing. Or how they were doing it.

Daygame has turned that around. What daygamers learn, after repeated encounters on the streets with pretty girls, is how to read a persons thoughts. I don’t mean we’re some fortune-telling soothsayers that read the astrological alignments of the planets to deduce that girls wearing purple hats are receptive to our approaching that day. No. I mean we are sensitive to her body language, her selection of words, her intonations, her smile, the flapping of her eyes, her stance and most importantly, her eye contact. We observe those minute details, put them together in context, and correlate them to her later actions. Did she give me her number? Did she text back? Did she come out on a date? A second date? A third…did we fuck?

What an authentic dataset daygamers have at their disposal to learn the difference between what people say and do against what they think! If a girl has her feet planted and is smiling during the approach, yet gives me shifty eye contact and short responses despite laughing at my teases, I know she’s having fun but isn’t interested. She wants to get on with her day, but doesn’t mind a bit of spontaneous flirting with a big-nosed player-in-progress. A newcomer will see this and think “bruh, you gonna bang tonight”! Nay, us daygamers rightly know. We’re damn sure this is a flake, if we even get the number.

That lesson of life applies to everything else around us. When I meet someone new, say at a friendly gathering, I no longer have the same anxiety I once did. Say I meet a friend of a friend, guy or girl, I can read their expressions immediately to see if they are open to meeting me. Is the eye contact there? Yes? Ok. Let’s start with a quick prod: “Hi, I’m Breeze. Nice to meet you. You don’t know X from work, do you?” Boom! Conversation ignited. Do they carry the torch or let it wither away? If they’re receptive, I continue to explore this possible friend/relation-ship. Else, I politely eject and move on.

But guess what I don’t do. I don’t suck up to this person. I don’t falsely look for something to compliment them on so they like me. I don’t play the self-selecting awkward game I mistakenly picked up in my college days. I look for a place where we can mutually vibe, and I take it from there. If we don’t vibe, NEXT! It’s no fault of mine, no fault of theirs. Abundance mentality is a hell of a drug.

Now, I’m no extrovert. All this internal analysis is exhausting when I’m with a group of people. I can still have a very good time when out with a band of buddies, even if I don’t know them well. This is the power of daygame.

I got into this to get laid. Instead I’m learning social acuity and charisma.

But I’d rather be getting laid.