Walking the line

It’s impossible to produce content in this space and have it be purely focused on seduction. There’s just no way, since creating relationships with women requires us to invest in two aspects of ourselves: SMV and Game (delivery of SMV). To increase our SMV is not just to upgrade our fashion, fitness, charisma and social skills; it’s a process that lends itself to shifting our mindsets as well. Picking up girls isn’t purely technical; it’s a perspective. It’s internalizing abundance mentality, understanding that you are the prize, that your attention is high value and your greatest gift. The gambits, routines, teases and openers are tactics; how well you can execute is technique; the way you expertly put them all together and adapt them to each unique scenario is strategy. I find this hierarchy useful for learning, applying and internalizing game. I’m slowly building up towards the stage of strategizing my interactions with girls. It’s less about “I’ll tease her on the yellow boots¹ 6.7 seconds after the open” and more about “let’s lead her towards some good feelZ and bring out her fun, feminine side”. Though I’m not done studying technical game, I do find that higher-level mental shifts are doing more for my progress than nit-picking over the delivery a spike.

So when RedPillDad broke down the dynamics of dialogue from a birds-eye view in Power Talk vs Real Talk, I knew he offered something worth pontificating. His choice topic to introduce this concept is outside my breadth of knowledge, though I think the applications to game are quite clear. Women will shit test you with Power Talk and generally withhold Real Talk. In fact, communicating with a girl using Real Talk is likely going to sabotage your chances of sealing the deal with her. Post-sex, yes you can open up more as she does but you still need to shield her from your vulnerabilities.

But I want to focus on pre-sex. I want to focus on a girl’s desire to do her damndest to avoid Real Talk before you sleep with her. This is literally the reason game exists. If girls engaged in Real Talk during the seduction process, this is how efficient daygame would go:

Man: Hey, I find you attractive. You’re a 7.2 in my book.
Her: Ok, I think you’re all right. You’re between a 6 and an 8. I can narrow it down after we have a date, in which I’ll test you and observe your frame like a hawk.
Man: Cool, there’s a 92% chance I’ll get that score above 7.5 on the date, which will give you enough of a SMV up match to bump horizontal uglies on my couch before we dance the electric boogaloo on my bed.²
Her: Down.

You don’t need a few hundred approaches under your belt to know that this never happens. Women operate on ambiguity. Game addresses this difference in communication. Game is displaying interest without ever expressing it. The London Daygame Model is built on this concept straight from the onset: “say what you see, but with a twist.” Let’s take an example from Krauser’s Infinite, where at the beginning of a date he remarks on his girl’s colorful attire with “Oh, you’re quite colorful tonight”. Let’s zoom into the mind of our fair lady and imagine what she’s thinking:

“Yeah, I am wearing a lot of colors! He noticed :-). Wait, but he said it kind of like a joke, not really a compliment…is it too colorful? Do I look silly? No that’s ridiculous! He loves it! But maybe he doesn’t…”

Is she overthinking it? Am I overthinking it? Ask yourself this, what if he Krauser added “I like it” to the end of the statement? Think about how the energy of his statement would change if he explicitly described the comment as a compliment. There are times to pull, there are times to push, and there are times to straddle the fence.³

In a man’s world, this sort of double-speak isn’t very helpful; it muddles decision making since it forces agents to operate with incomplete information. This is prohibitively frustrating if you’re designing a rocket or navigating traffic, but it’s fun for girls when they’re dancing to the songs of seduction. The same way girls hold their cards close, you should protect yours. Show a card here and there, but never your whole hand. Gently lay down a king of spades to demonstrate controlled strength, or casually toss a 3 of clubs so as to egg her on.⁴ Girls get the tingles when they sense something delightful coming, but don’t have the evidence of certainty. They get off on their intuition and imagination. Our job as players is to feed them the opportunity to build their own seduction.

A simple illustration of this principle is the rule which bans supplication. As an example, imagine a girl tells you “I speak two languages⁵ and just finished up my bar exam. I’m joining [fancy law firm here] next month!” The worst response is “That’s super cool!”; you’ve shown your hand. It’s not just that you’ve pedestalized her, you’ve also taken away the excitement from the seduction. She knows where you stand. Even if you’re a Dan Bilzerian type, there’s not enough lubrication in the world to prep her dried pussy from this blunder. An equally bad response would be “I speak six languages and graduated from Hahvahd.” Okay, you’ve seemingly DHV’ed⁶ but you’ve still removed the excitement! She’s not thinking “oh, this guys is higher value than me so he’s fuckable”. No, she’s thinking “why is he competing with me”? The proper response depends on the stage of seduction. In times of high energy go with “oh, so you can lie in two languages? Impressive”! In times of low energy go with “ok, how did you choose law”?

The studious reader will notice that there are examples of attraction and comfort above. Now let’s jump into escalation. Typically, the guy leads escalation, but every so often you’ll encounter a masculine feminist⁷ who will sexualize the conversation or try to lead the make out in the sex location. The good news is you’ll probably have sex that night; the bad news is you can still fuck it up. Do not fall in to her frame and follow her lead; don’t even try to take the reigns and amplify the escalation. It’s best to just not react. Say you’re on the first date talking about Phantom of the Opera and she says “Christine has exquisitely rounded tits”, it’s usually best to acknowledge then move away from the escalation: “Oh, is that all you noticed, pervert 😉 What’s your favorite song from the show?” Later on, run your escalation probes and gambits. It’s not that we’re shying away from escalation, but rather we’re running the seduction *on our terms*. We escalate when *we* want to escalate. She doesn’t get her kicks when she knows she can lead the seduction–and by extension, the relationship. No, she gets her kicks by operating in the land of maybe (I owe someone a citation for coining this phrase; please send a blog link or tweet if you know where it originated).

With all this said, there is a time when a girl will turn back and shift into Real Talk. This requires some elegance to navigate. As men, we still need to keep our hand close, even if she shows hers. It doesn’t matter if you can trump her flush, you need to play it cool and aloof whether your holding a full house or a 9-high.

I find girls will enter Real Talk territory after sex. The more you fuck, the more she opens up. But you need to encourage her over a series of non-judgmental reactions. She needs to know that she can tell you she fucked 19 guys without you freaking out; she needs to know you won’t laugh at her for attending clown school; she needs to know you won’t snidely cast an evil eye at her for eating her steak with the salad fork. Game isn’t manipulation; game is learning to tune into her desires and provide the good feelZ that she craves. It’s not just dominant fucking, it’s also gently guiding her through the chaos of her emotions.

I would like to end on one more example. In my pre-daygame days, though after I read about this space, I met a girl at mosque who was visiting Boston. We grew up in the same city and knew some of the same people, but never spoke in our hometown. When I was introduced to her, I recall teasing her short height–it was beginner’s luck, I had very little idea of what I was doing at the time. Some time later in 2016 when I was visiting my hometown, we had a friendly coffee “date”; I use quotes because there was no escalation. We haven’t spoken or texted since 2016. Out of the blue she reaches back out to me yesterday with the following message.

Hi Breeze! How have you been?!

It’s been a minute since we last spoke! Wanted to catch up and see how you’re doing lately. Are you staying safe during this covid craziness?

Before I follow up with my response, I would like to pre-empt a typical pre-game response:

Yes, too long!  Good to hear from you.  Hope things are well.  I’m surviving! Just busy working and lifting!

How are you? Hope you’re wearing a mask 🙂

–shit you shouldn’t say

I guess the above is technically correct…there’s an ass-backwords DHV thrown in. But I won’t break down why it’s bad. It’s only a slightly exaggerated example of how I would have texted pre-game.

Here’s what I actually sent:

Oh it’s been a minute or two

I moved to NYC.  We eat corona for breakfast here

Granted I’m no connoisseur on texting⁸, but she responded with 4x the text. So…not bad. What I want to point out is that the difference between the bad and the good is that in the former case my interest is out there for the world to see whereas in the latter it’s hidden away.

As my game improves, as Usman prepares to defend against his friend and former teammate Burns, as the world implodes on coronavirus and civil unrest, let’s all take a moment to appreciate the land of maybe.

1. She clearly stepped into a puddle of paint, probably during her finger-painting class.
2. There’s plenty more where that came from.
3. Game = You straddle the fence, she straddles the shaft.
4. But really we know you’re sitting on a wheel.
5. This is impressive for us Americans.
6. You really haven’t; bragging is not high value. Practice the art of humble-bragging: sharing value through stories, actions and behaviours
7. As opposed to a feminine feminist, who’s really just a girl that’s virtue signaling. Don’t get distracted and end up chatting about duality as a universal truth on a date trying to prove her wrong. It would be falling into her frame.
8. That distinction belongs to Mr. V.